San Diego: America’s Finest Dressed City

By Sub-Committee / Special to San Diego Free Press

Sub-committee report #3  Now that we will create parking spaces in Balboa Park that cost about $58,000 a piece, and public beach toilets in North Pacific Beach that cost $100,000 per toilet stall, and recently re-modeled “art toilets” in Ocean Beach, I think we can legitimately call ourselves the “finest dressed city in America.” We are obliged to dress nicely and have nice bathrooms because we are eager to invite the world to our town to party. Being rich costs a lot of money, you know, and we would like to thank the pleasant and well-meaning golf and yacht club committees for their advice to the city council members on the subject of our attire.

Our local news television stations are also eager to keep the party going as they don’t miss a chance to throw up on the airwaves (in flash subliminal ways) 5 year old photos of standing room only at the beaches before the beach alcohol ban in 2008. The beaches have become much less crowded and mild-mannered since the booze ban, so I hope the revelers are not disappointed.

We’re beach people here, and wannabes, so we know how to throw a bash, and enjoy it too.

In order to celebrate the centennial of beautiful Balboa Park in 2015, our city wants to build a new giant parking lot. Plan A: For $16 million dollars, the city will add 274 new parking places, which works out to about $58,000 per parking space. Of course, there will be access roads and new bridges to get there, (which aren’t included in the $16 million dollar price) and elevators, (which are) and new cement terraces all around, and hopefully bronze statues of the sponsors at the entrances of this new parking garage are also included in the price. I know San Diego real estate is expensive, but wow!

Plan B is cheaper with more parking spaces (750), but basically amounts to the same effort to pack more cars into Balboa Park, and more access roads, and elevators , all surrounded by more new decorative cement planters and terraced walkways and such.

I don’t blame the city for being on a spending spree just before the new elections; before I got a divorce, I went out shopping for a bunch of new quality clothes and shoes in case I never had the means again.

Good luck to all the hard-working government officials and their friends with the Happy 100th Birthday to Balboa Park garage re-model, but honestly, guys and gals, if you have re-decoration envy, just go buy yourselves some new towels.

Sub-Committee is the nom de plume of a PB activist.