Lipstick at Rite Aid
By Judi Curry
People that know me know that the only make-up I wear is mascara and eyeshadow. I probably wouldn’t wear that if my eyelashes weren’t blond – or is it gray now – and I like to highlight my blue eyes. But recently I have started dating – bad word – “going out with” – younger men and after changing the lights in my bathroom have discovered wrinkles I never knew I had. (Of course, having cataract surgery has helped (?) my vision.)
About the time I discovered a “road map” on my face, I attended a women’s conference where I was given free samples of “remove the wrinkles” cream; had my eyebrows “plucked” using thread (?); had a facial that made my dry skin feel vibrant, etc. Even though I am a creature of habit, I never used any of the samples daily because I, quite simply, forgot. I’m one of those people that apply lipstick by rote. If I were to look in a mirror while applying it I would find it all over my face.
I shouldn’t tell you, but, of course you know I will, that I failed “How to teach Art to Elementary School Students” twice. Yes. TWICE! I have often told my children that when it comes time to put me in a “funny farm” NEVER let them put me in an arts and crafts room because I would crack up even more than the reason I was put there in the first place. I can play the guitar; the piano; the accordion – at one time I prided myself in having “perfect pitch” – but I do not have an artistic bent. I am so glad I was not born an Asian, because my characters would probably tell you to do something nasty to yourself rather than conveying the message “I like you.”
However, one of the women that went to the conference with me absolutely loved one of the products – Advanced Night Repair – and suggested that I try it. (I am not sure if she was telling me to use it because I was so wrinkled, or because she thought it was helping her.) So I began using it nightly until I ran out. I thought there might be a wee difference, but I wasn’t sure so I decided to purchase a bottle.
I think the shock of seeing the cost put all the wrinkles that I lost back on my face, because it ran from $52 to $148! The same bottle; same number of ounces; same product – in a different store. I bought it from Nordie’s because they were the cheapest. (Can you imagine Nordie’s being the cheapest!) and after using it for 3 weeks, I looked like a teenager all over again.
Oh no, it wasn’t because the wrinkles had disappeared. It was because I was allergic to the damn thing and I broke out in pimples wherever I had put the Night Repair. For all the world it looked like a bad case of acne. I am happy to say that Nordie’s returned my money with no questions asked.
The Nordstrum Free Gift Bag
When I purchased the original product from Nordie’s, I received a nice “gift bag.” And in that gift bag were some other nice items – mascara; a pallet of eye shadow; lipsticks; rouge – don’t use that – and another produce called “Re-Nutriv”. It is billed as a “Ultimate Life-Age Connecting Crème.” It sat in the gift bag for over a year until I needed the bag for something else.
I thought about giving away the items in the bag – my 17 year old granddaughter is at the experimentation stage, but kept the “Re-Nutriv”. And began using it before going out on a new date. In my own mind – and in my own bathroom – it seemed to lessen the wrinkles and today I found that I am just about out of the product.
I decided to go online to see about purchasing another jar of it. Are you ready for what I found? Sit down, because they might blow you away. (It blew me away because I am used to buying Maybelline, Cover Girl, etc. products at the 99 Cent store. The product, that was so generously placed in the gift bag cost from $77 at Izzy’s Perfume to $260 at Lords and Taylor. THE EXACT SAME PRODUCT! I am sure that I frowned when I saw the prices, thus causing many more wrinkles to appear in my map.
Eye Shadow at Rite Aid
Who pays that kind of money for cosmetics? If I purchased it at “Lords and Taylor” I would be spending one quarter of my social security check. And would I have any fewer wrinkles? I think not.
So, young lovers, – actually not so young because most of them are on “Viagra”, think of the wrinkles on my face as “life-time experiences” – a wrinkle for each year, if you will, like the rings on a tree. They add character, and if you don’t have them now, you certainly will in the future. I will continue to buy my mascara and eye shadow from the less expensive manufacturers, and the old saying “what you see is what you get” will ring true for me. And besides, I’ve never thought of myself as beautiful anyway and a wrinkle cream won’t change that!
Judi Curry
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Fawgettaboutit! You don’t need cosmetics, you have natural beauty! I love that comment about “rings of a tree.”
我喜欢你 (I like you), not 你自己杀死 (kill yourself).
Zach – I can see the differences in the two sentences, but for the life of me there is no way that I could reproduce them. I admire you for your ability to learn and speak the language.
请现在杀死 我. 这个语言太难极了! (Please kill me now. This language is much too hard!)
Sorry for all the killing!