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San Diego Free Press

Grassroots News & Progressive Views

First Cuppa Coffee – April 6, 2012: Disgusting Wisdom Edition

April 6, 2012 by Doug Porter

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Speaking out against slavery… Come Saturday, April 7th, the Radical Feminists of San Diego are putting together a mobilization in support of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) to demand the abolishment of human trafficking, the modern-day form of slavery. The event will start at noon on the southeast corner of 30th and El Cajon Blvd. They’ll march east ending at the south-side bus stop at the intersection of El Cajon Blvd and the Rt 15 on ramp where human rights advocates will speak out human trafficking.

The sneaky feminist plot… Phyllis Schlafly, the happy right wing warrior chiefly known for defeating the Equal Rights Amendment and hating gays (except her gay son) gave an exceptional speech to young military cadets at the Citadel, South Carolina’s boot camp for middle class crackers this week. She passed on some serious wisdom to our future military leaders, like: “Feminists are having a hard time being elected because they essentially are unlikable,” and “Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it,” she said. “Some of them are pretty. They don’t all look like Bella Abzug.”

The man’s got a plan… Candidate Willard Romney has heard about how women voters aren’t all excited about voting for him and his fellow Republicans. But have no fear, he’s got a “marvelous” plan that will bring the ladies over to his side: by saying his wife talks to women for him. Ann “reports to me” on what women care about, he says. So now when those pesky reporters ask about the GOP’s “War on Women” Romney reiterates his pitch to women — Ann speaks to women on my behalf. Get the message?  Neither did we.

List of the week…  30 Canned Foods You Never Knew Existed. Starting with Sweet Sue’s whole canned chicken, going through BBQ Flavor Bamboo Worms and wrapping up with Manhattan Style Fish Assholes, this list comes complete with photos. There’s something here to disgust everybody.

Speaking of disgusting… Congressman Steven King (R-IA) bragged at a recent town hall about how he forced witnesses including the president of the Humane Society as well as other animal rights groups to “confess” that they were vegetarians before being allowed to testify before the House Agriculture Committee. The Think Progress progressive news blog reviewed hearing transcripts to determine whether King’s story was accurate. It was not.

While we’re talking about lying Congressmen… Our own Darryl Issa has put together a spectacularly dishonest site completely aimed at attacking unions that starts off with Bobby Kennedy, uses the word “union” only once on its front page (in claiming a desire to work with union leaders), speaks in sweeping terms of freedom and liberty and decries partisanship. But get past the fold and you’ll discover that really it’s an attack on union political spending—part of the larger Republican campaign to bankrupt unions.

 “Every worker should have the choice to decide whether their money is taken from their paychecks and used to fund political activity,” Issa said in a statement Wednesday. The purpose of the site, he added, is to illuminate “how forced political contributions violate [workers’] fundamental rights” and to hold “union leaders and government accountable to taxpayers.

 Where’s an investigating Congressman when you need one?… From Dow Jones yesterday comes news about how executives for Hostess Brands (makers of Twinkies) gave themselves huge raises just prior to seeking bankruptcy protection. The Teamsters are over at Hostess are understandably furious. The top managers demanded 7,500 Teamster employees accept drastic wage and benefit cuts right after they raised their own pay by as much as 300 percent. There is no word out yet on whether Congressman Issa plans to investigate the situation.

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Doug Porter

Doug Porter

Doug Porter was active in the early days of the alternative press in San Diego, contributing to the OB Liberator, the print version of the OB Rag, the San Diego Door, and the San Diego Street Journal. He went on to have a 35-year career in the Hospitality business and decided to go back into raising hell when he retired. He won numerous awards for his columns from the Society of Professional Journalists in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2017. Doug is a cancer survivor (sans vocal chords) and lives in North Park.
Doug Porter

Latest posts by Doug Porter (see all)

  • Last Call. Last Column. - December 14, 2018
  • Which Presidential Candidate Will You Support in 2020? - December 13, 2018
  • Mounting the Assault on Big Gay and Other Drivel From SDSU’s Minimum Wage Scrooge - December 12, 2018

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Comments

  1. Anna Daniels says

    April 6, 2012 at 7:52 am

    This column comes up with the best coffee cup graphics! Yesterday’s were too funny. Kudos to Doug? Editordude?

  2. Jack says

    April 6, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Thank you for the disgusting foods post, Doug. I am abstaining and fasting today for Good Friday…you have managed to ease the endeavor. Fish balls? Who’d a thought they were so big?

    Wait, wait, I know this one

    x + 6 = 10

    10-6 = x

    10 – 6 = 4

    x = 4

  3. Andy Cohen says

    April 6, 2012 at 10:37 am

    I’ll spare you the suspense on whether or not Issa will investigate the Hostess execs: He won’t, giving the excuse that “It’s just capitalism at its best.” Not that there’s anything wrong, necessarily, with capitalism. But when corporate execs can quite literally steal from their companies and get away with it because “that’s just how capitalism works,” that’s a serious disconnect.

San Diego Free Press Has Suspended Publication as of Dec. 14, 2018

Let it be known that Frank Gormlie, Patty Jones, Doug Porter, Annie Lane, Brent Beltrán, Anna Daniels, and Rich Kacmar did something necessary and beautiful together for 6 1/2 years. Together, we advanced the cause of journalism by advancing the cause of justice. It has been a helluva ride. "Sometimes a great notion..." (Click here for more details)

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