By A feleségül

Here’s the scenario:

Horny person; No lover; Playboy or Playgirl magazines; Sex talk on line; Porn available on paid television; Libido going wild.

What’s a nice person to do? (Or…what’s a “not- so-nice” person to do?)  What is acceptable in today’s society? How does one relieve the tensions building up in the body?  What “aids” are available for the average person? How would you feel if you went into an adult store and saw your neighbor there? Would it matter if your neighbor was a woman or a man? Would you be embarrassed?

Let’s take a little tour to the neighborhood sex shop. What is the back room all about? Why is it dark with dark curtains surrounding it? Who is in those back rooms?  What are they doing?  Oh! Just saw a man going into the room with a DVD in his hand. (When he takes the DVD out of his hand and places it in the recorder I wonder what he will do with that hand? Is that what those rooms are for?)  Do women do that, too―in the back room of the sex shop?

There are a slew of items on the shelves of the sex shops. Some of them are what you would expect―blow up dolls; dildos of all sizes and shapes; perfumes; tantalizing flavored oils; books; DVDs; crotchless panties; nippleless bras; cock rings; clamps; erotic condoms, although I fail to see how any kind of condom can be erotic; vibrators of all sizes, speeds, and colors; ropes; ties – (and not the kind you wear around your neck); Natural ways to get hard―and stay hard (didn’t know that they sell “natural” ways); slave kits; bondage kits; restraints; oral sex mints―whatever that is; and a whole lot more.

Doing the research for this article was somewhat titillating! If you have a creative mind you can practically reach an orgasm just imagining what all of these things are being used for. But … who is using them? Are all of the buyers perverts? Are all of the men in these shops going to go out and commit some crime?

And what are the women doing here? Certainly we are not all doing “research.”

One woman told me that she was looking for a “gag” gift for a friend. (My initial thought was that some of the paraphernalia was literally intended to do just that.) What would my friends say if they knew I was spending over an hour looking at all the items available for my pleasure? Do I even have a friend I would want to share this experience with?

My friends know that I am horny. They also know that I want more than just a one-night stand. Do any of my friends have vibrators? Do any of them use it? Funny. I can’t imagine ANY of my friends using one, yet I bet that my friends think that I definitely have one and probably use it.  (They are wrong; I have more than one.)

What’s wrong with pleasuring myself in the confines of my own bedroom, shower or … ??? Are we supposed to go through life in a high state of anxiety because society frowns upon masturbation? (I don’t have hairy palms yet, but maybe that only pertains to men.)

All in all, I would have to say that my “research” was fun, if not a little bit kinky. I know a whole lot more about the act of “pleasuring” than I ever wanted to know and, if a partner doesn’t develop soon, I may make a “purchasing” trip to my neighborhood friendly sex shop.

And one more thing: I was told that many couples use these sex toy aids on each other for mutual gratification. Figures. I guess orgasms are not always easy to come by. But that is the subject for another article.