By Norma Damashek / NumbersRunner
Some of my friends think I pick on San Diego unfairly. They ask me, Don’t all cities have a similar quotient of greed, corruption, mediocrity, deceit, and political blowhards as we have in San Diego?
I won’t equivocate. The answer is… yes.
So why single out our city? Because San Diego is unique in one peculiar respect: we practice an overweening reverence for gentility. We lionize propriety. We relish an identity as America’s finest, nicest city. Some guys might even stretch the description and say we’re pussy-whipped. But the more orthodox label for our singular compliance is civility.
San Diego is obsessed with civility. The esteemed KPBS spent its capital on measuring the civility of campaign ads during our recent mayoral race. We’ll soon see a return performance of Restoring Civility to Civic Dialogue at the Malin Burnham Center for Civic Engagement. If you miss that one, you can encounter civility lessons through ‘consensus-building’ at USD’s ‘visioning’ sessions. Or at SDSU’s “Envision San Diego” project. Or in ‘civic engagement’ programs through the Equality Alliance… Empower San Diego… San Diego Foundation… Move San Diego…
So many ways to play nice.
That’s what sets us apart from other cities — the number of San Diego citizens who swallow the soporific called civility: Don’t cuss. Don’t tell the truth. Don’t criticize public figures when they lie or cheat. Don’t make waves. Don’t challenge the judgment of the wealthy. Don’t pull back the curtains. Don’t expose the homegrown pedophile/ wife abuser/ porn purveyor/ sociopath in our midst. Don’t question authority. Don’t stick to your principles. Don’t get mad at politicians who leave us in the lurch. Don’t demand robust hearings at city council meetings. Don’t give bad press to Republican mayors or city attorneys, no matter how incompetent. Don’t say that the emperor has no clothes.
Is there something in the air that predisposes so many San Diego citizens to become patsies and go-along-to-get-along? It’s not that I’m blaming the victim. I’m just asking how come we pretend that being nice guys is good for the public health? Like getting away with murder, it isn’t.
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Hoo Hoo, another friend of honesty! Norma Damashek. You the man, girl.
Norma- your article goes a long way toward explaining why so many articles about recently elected Mayor Filner used the term “abrasive.” In our civility hugging environment, and knowing what I do about Filner, I don’t anticipate that the use of the word abrasive will drop off. Let’s keep our eyes on the “civility meter.”
Thank you, Norma, for counting the ways this cynical subterfuge has been promoted.
Actually, the “civility” gambit has been around at least since the Chamber of Commerce and Union-Tribune tried to push a favored threesome onto the School Board back in the mid-1990’s. I know, because I was one of the trio billed as their kind of “outside- the-box” education reformers, and we were all elected. (The rest is darkest history.)
As for pejorative adjectives preceding public mention of Mayor Filner’s name, that’s an even older story, since he has long political history in this town, beginning with School Board service in the 1970’s when integration and bussing were controversial issues.
In San Diego “civility” has always been used as a shield against genuine debate and a weapon to stifle it. Even the late respected Murray Galinson inveighed on behalf of
“civility” in a column in a community newspaper not long ago.
Good points, Norma. Starting with civility is always a good idea, but it should never trump truth.