By Leo Lobbestael
I never really came from money, so to speak.
I mean we always had enough to finance whatever was needed.
And needs back when I was younger was a pretty flexible intangible. 6 through 15: candy, sports equipment, and anything “cool” was equal to breathing, thinking and freedom of speech.
From 16 – 19 it was primarily cars and girls. Anything that increased my access to both of those was milk from natures breasts.
20 – 26 Education drove me forward, consuming it like an addict on a morphine binge. To the present its power.
As I reflect on what I have gained from all that I strived for over the years I am not disappointed but what I gained was certainly not what I was hoping to receive.
In many ways I learned balance: the middle road, the fulcrum between extremes. Often as I plotted and calculated how to attain crumbs of my desired object the truth faded around me; friends, family, relationships, and my spiritual life were pushed into my shadow.
As I grow older my shadow objects still loom ominously but I tend to articulate differently and often truth still, still to this day, this minute, finds its way only into the foot notes of the pages of theory and principles.
The weight of all I have carried all that I have accumulated, all the strivings and “needs”, and now finally I look for power.
I always strived for power I realize now. And by Power I mean a sort of tap dancing la-de-da version of Adlerian Power (power to become who I want to be, the power to create and be creative).
However, let me be clear!
This is not about my lack of power through my development, this is about a humanity, an incarcerated soul of a humanity that has been trapped by a child’s expression of power: looking for candy in the “loop holes” of laws, relationships, friendships, social contracts, governments, wars, etc…
This is about all mankind; trapped by the iron fist of industrialization and capitalism, while their souls scream from the depths of decaying dungeons for power and the use of their hearts.