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Readers Write: Surprise – Inquisition!

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InquisitionBy Tom Hunter

I am amazed at how the “Founding Fathers” were so wise and how they are selectively worshiped by the GOP.  The Constitution (stand and salute!) is only one line below the Bible with the GOP, although they only worship a certain version of the Constitution and they are always threatening to fix it and or bitch slap the Supreme Court when they disagree with some decision.

They seem to worship a kind of Norman Rockwell vision before all that “science” got in the way.  They tend to like “prescience ” things like trial by ordeal.  (Hey if she drowns – she’s innocent!)  I can’t quite figure out their fixation with “other peoples” sex lives.  You’d think these modest Christians would shun the very concept of other people’s sex.

There is s an entire industry of lobbyists working in every state to figure out how to make sex less fun (in the dark, missionary style, for procreation only and they are extremely suspicious of people who manage to get themselves raped).  The GOP has pretty much obsessed with pointing out “other people’s sins”.  Their vision may be somewhat obscured by that stick in the eye.

But the “Founding Fathers” were enlightened minds of the 18th century.  That does not necessarily make them all knowing in the twenty first century.  But they did have some great ideas.  Having just thrown off the yoke of   King George, they were a little shy of government getting out of hand.  They never dreamed that the GOP would figure out a way for the minority in Congress to put a stop to all progress or anything that sounds like progress.  They could not envision a Supreme Court deciding elections and declaring the end of racial discrimination.

The GOP is obsessed of late with repurposing language.  They can “bend it like Beckham” for the cause.  One of their favorite arguments against all things progressive is “I know you are, but what am I?”  I can’t say how many times I’ve heard those great states persons like Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann accusing the left of low motives and misdemeanors.  The left is accused of everything from opposing motherhood to siding with aliens.  They cannot seem to settle on whether liberals are nazis or commies.  Make up your minds! Oh wait – now I remember – words only mean what you say they mean, when you say they mean it and that is adjustable.

OK, I have a theory.  Perhaps Conservatism is not a political group at all.  Politics is iky.  Requires argument and compromise.  Good ideas are supposed to rise to the top.  But, as I suggest, Conservatism is a religion, bingo – problem solved.  No argument no compromise, only eternal truthiness.  When you own the TRUTH there can be no compromise.  You cannot be ignorant if you have memorized the TRUTH.  Built in to this theory is that, of course, the world (science) will persecute you.  You will be criticised.  You will be mocked.  You will be proud of being mocked as that is part of your doctrine.

I would  argue that we should not hold the “Founding Fathers” to too high a standard.  They were brilliant in their time.  They should be allowed to rest on that brilliance.  But to bend their brilliance into arguments of modern high priests like Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck is just silly.  If all of their conspiracy theories were put end to end they would probably catch fire.   Neither one ever met a war they didn’t like.

No worries though, as war has become universal and forever and ever, amen.  That is why our nation is not Christian.  Our nation is Old Testament.  Hellfire and brimstone.  Forgiveness?  After the death penalty, maybe.  And if you leak our secret activities, which may show our war efforts in a bad light, then bring on the Inquisition.  No one expects the Inquisition!

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