By Tom Hunter

Since my retirement and application for Social Security at the age of 63, I have gradually learned how to live frugally.

Whenever I think I’ve cut expenses to the bone, it seems like the rent goes up by 30% or the State of Nevada finds me and wants $225 a month in child support.  At the end of all this I am left with $125 dollars a month for food and TV and Internet and gas and electric.

I no longer have a vehicle of my own, but my children provide me alternately with a car and a motorcycle.  I have ridden motorcycles since I was fourteen, but I was definitely out of practice and the new bikes are heavier and faster than anything I ever owned.

This month, on the first day of my direct deposit from Uncle Sam, I spent $60 on groceries, and before the day was out I was a little short on the rent for next month.  So, I put an ad on Craig’s List to sell a chainsaw and another ad offering my services as a painter.  I would try selling my blood, but I have Thrombocytopenia.

I have heard all the rumors that old people were living on cat food.  Cat food is almost three dollars a can (and a tiny can at that).  But for at 10 for $10 you can get a Banquet Meal that is actually (in theory) designed for humans.

Now I have also heard all the claims by Republicans that we can’t afford Social Security.  They say it is bound to run out of money in 24 years if we don’t do something.  And that something usually includes some way for the stock market to get their greedy hands on that money. God forbid we should raise the cap on wages taxed for social security.

It’s similar to the demands that our education system is better off in the hands of the money manager and priests and that class of businessmen who know what this country could be with the proper emphasis on business.  We may spend way less than other countries per pupil, but nevertheless there is a shit load of money up for grabs, and believe me there are many hands out and grabbing.

So I’m trying to pass on this message to the young folk.  Beware of the Tea Baggers and their lies.  They are trying to kill the post office, social security and Obamacare.  Between you and me, if they succeed I think we’re going to have to put our old people in homes and kill them.  The old people, like myself, will not be able to afford cat food and not even Banquet dinners at a dollar a pop.

I believe the reason that they hate Social Security is that retired people are known to read, and thus are dangerous.

Now it will be interesting to watch the Tea Baggers trying to shut down the government at the end of next month.  They are working on getting government down to that size where they can drown it in the bathtub and then the Corporate Utopia Millennial Age of “We Fooled Them Again” will be upon us all.