This man says he’s Jerry Shawn. Judi doesn’t think so…
By Judi Curry
Those of you that have followed my “on-line” dating experiences probably thought that after the “Thomas” episode I was finished with my research project. Actually, I thought I was also, until I received a notification from “OKCupid” that I had been matched with a man that they thought I would have a lot in common with. His name – at least the name he was using on their site was “Mohitasaurus.” When he wrote to me, however, he said his name of “Jerry Shawn” and that he lives in the 92108 zip code.
Granted, 92108 encompasses a wide territory – Mission Valley and some surroundings. How similar it was to Thomas who told me he lived in Imperial Beach. Rather than bore you with the details of his writings, I am going to copy them verbatim for you to read. I did not correct his spelling errors. (Note: You still might be bored!)
This is the first one I received:
I’m jerry shawn.. ! I’m a Civil Construction Engineer..I’m from sir diego califonia and i’m 6’0 inches tall..I have been widowed for the past 6yrs now and i think its the right time to settle down with someone i want to grow old together with. I’m getting retired in some months time and i don’t want to live a lonely life forever. well, I have just been trying very hard to find my soul mate and I hope that I have found her in you. I have only been married once. I want to be happy again with my special woman for the rest of my life, someone we can have nice moments together.. I like walking on the beach wth my woman and watching the sunset together, Cruising tgether,Listening to music, hiking, taking a long walk, I like to laugh and have fun. I am very family orientated. Am the only child of my parent and they are have deceased for years now !
I like to cook but really good in that and i really have a high passion for that… I’m planing on getting a serious relatonship and part of the preparations is why I registered on that site. I have been on my own and I do miss having someone to do things with and to share things with. I know that I was not created to be alone but I know God has that special woman for me and I am sure that when she finds me we will both know.. I like conversations and definitely respect and of course honesty and trust. I don’t know what else you want to know but feel free to ask.
I’m seeking for a friend and forever partner who is (Caring, Romantic, serious, responsible) who is really looking for a serious relationship and forever partner. I want to meet the right, special person, a serious woman, who wants to create a strong relationship and who want to spend the rest of her life with me with so much love, care and honesty. I don’t play games and don’t want to waste my time and the time of other people,I’m a man who has a very strong desire for a serious relationship. It’s so great to be together and in love and I hope someday we’ll meet and we will be happy in our souls and hearts! I will like to know what it takes to makes friends and beyond with you because you seems like a very nice and kind woman through your profile, that’s the type of woman I like to associate myself with if you will not mind. I would love you to reply more about yourself as well..
Can you tell me more about yourself? Also hum mm…….. I would love to know what you are doing for a living? do you live alone ? Are you widow?are you really ready to meet someone and be happy with though as for me this conversation is really important and I am hoping to meet you one day which i believe is very soon What do you really enjoy doing? What you do to have fun? do you have children? What makes you laugh, smile, and cry? Do you own your house?What kinds of animal,music and movies do you like?,what is your favorite type of riding? hope to tell you more about me and waiting to read from you too as well.
I am happy to say that this time I did not fall for the rhetoric. I am also sure that if this wasn’t “Thomas” writing to me, it was one of his cohorts in Nigeria. But here is the second communication I received – at 2:00am!
How are you this great morning and hope you’re having a good day? I pray that all is well with you today. My day started a kind of busy as usual, but it will probably slow down in the next 2 days or so. I must say you are so wonderful, because this email seems like you’ve poured out all your heart in it, i really can’t tell you how much joy i have in me for reading such an interesting message from you. (I wrote him one liners!)
I am over being alone but I want to get to know the woman that’s going to be in my life until death do us part. I want a best friend, a lover, someone to love me like Jesus loved us, someone that is going to build me up and not tear me down, someone that I can trust and trust me too, someone to understand and encourage me as I do the same and I don’t know if you are ready for all of that and more???? I am not “materialistic”!! I would rather have someone to respect, care for, and love from my heart & soul, then money!! Yes, money is nice, but it can’t buy you real love. I just want it to be, that anything we were to “own”, as “ours”, not “mine” or “yours”. Yes, I know that there are something that will be mine, and she’s, but do you know what I mean? I want to be able to “spoil her” by opening a door for her, or carrying things for her, taking her shoes off when she’s back from outting, for no special reason, but that I care for her,I love her, I hope you will love to have all that.
How are your family doing too and friends aswell? Hope all is well with them all ? I have begun to develops interest in you due to the way you’ve presented yourself. I like being around good people and I take my time to really study the kind of person someone is and after that if my findings about her is positives all through then I can go any length.. the way i see things is like we have a lot in common…
I will awaits a respond from you. Have a sweet wonderful time and take a good care of yourself..
I did write to “OKCupid” and they agreed that the profile was suspect and it has been removed. When I found out that Thomas was not who he said he was I discovered that the picture he was using was one of a well respected educator from Sacramento.
Does anyone reading this know who this “civil engineer” is in true life? Perhaps he would like to know that his picture is also being used to lure women to his lair!
My purpose for writing this article is to alert other women – and men, too – that there are people out there preying on the loneliness of others for their gain. Be careful. At least this time I am thinking with my brain and not my emotions.
Judi Curry
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Holy guacamole! My first reaction is that no real male person would write a reply to an ad at such length! I note that he didn’t mention a single thing about you, though he professed how much he likes you.
I’m so glad you’ve got your detective glasses on this time!
I am going to report this to the FBI also, but since there is no “victim” I don’t think they will do anything.
You could tell from the language that this was not a native American speaker or writer. I guess it’s caveat emptor in the dating game. There should be ways to verify a person’s identity and where they’re from. Maybe you should have given him a quiz with questions only a San Diegan could answer and not found online. That should weed some of them out. Sorta like those letters that you have to type in to verify you’re a human and not a bot. Maybe like what high school did you go to and what street did you live on growing up. Then you could correlate the street with the school to see if that made sense. I don’t think anyone would be offended by a little test of veracity at the very outset. You could state truthfully that you have been misled many times and find this necessary.
John, this guy is such a phony he has me concerned. I asked him where in 92108 he lived. He said he doesn’t live in 92108 – he lives in 9210882! We can take it from there. Thanks for your suggestions!
Judi, Wow. I’m sorry. Crazy.
I ran the photo you published above through Google Image search and got nothing but this SDFP article. Zip. Nada.
Being a gay man I see voluminous emails like this on various gay networking sites where the writer is often allegedly a “lonely US Soldier stationed in Afghanistan” or a Ghanaian, or lately Pakistani. Those emails often start with “How are you today, my dear?” followed by extensive over-sharing.
I just read your heartbreaking Thomas story. How very sad for you. I am forwarding on your two two article to several friends who are “dating” on line. Verbum sapienti sat[is] est.
By the way, http://www.Snopes.com, the definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation, can often help clarify truth from fiction in such emails.
Thanks, Michael. I also ran it through those sites I know about and nothing came up. I still am very suspicious. His writing is atrocious – if he’s a Civil Engineer I’m the President of SDSU!
The writings from your sites are the same as the straight sights. The “dear”, “sweet”, etc. usually tell me what a phony he is. Maybe we should just pair up ourselves!
Thanks for the Snopes info.
Judi
Hmm, a question that is not googleable for a middle aged San Diegan male…
How about “What’s your favorite memory from Jack Murphy?”
I probably could ask “who was Jack Murphy” and get the same answer as favorite memory. Thanks for more fodder ….