The shampoo company could do a lot more to further feminine empowerment.

By Jill Richardson / OtherWords

A Pantene commercial that tells women to stop apologizing and “#ShineStrong” has gone viral. It contrasts scenes of women saying things like “Sorry, can I ask a stupid question?” with snippets of them behaving in an assertive way.

Pantene’s commercial makes a good point, but there are bigger problems holding women back — including the role that beauty products play in our culture.

For me, author Laura Kipnis explains it best. “Femininity, at least in its current incarnation, hinges on sustaining an underlying sense of female inadequacy,” she says in her book The Female Thing: Dirt, Envy, Sex, and Vulnerability.

What does that mean?

“It’s almost as if the female condition hinged on some kind of ontological flaw,” Kipnis writes.

“If you’re a modern female, unfortunately something’s always broken: be thinner, sexier, more self-confident; stop dating creeps; get rid of those yucky zits; and put the pizzazz back in your relationship.”

What do we do when we want some pizzazz? We get makeovers, go shopping, get pedicures, or maybe wash our hair with Pantene shampoo. To feel feminine, we first look for problems that mar our personal appearance. If we decide we are perfect just as we are, we lose our connection to feeling feminine.

And where do we get such notions? From other women, beauty magazines, and advertising. Kipnis maps what she calls a “feminine-industrial complex” and says: “Your self-loathing and neurosis are someone else’s target quarterly profits.”

Americans spend well over $50 billion per year on cosmetics. Think about the headlines on the beauty magazines you see at grocery checkouts. They say “10 tips to get a flat belly!” or “Get a bikini body in one week,” not “Why you look fabulous as you are.”

Can you imagine the economic impact if all women woke up tomorrow and thought “I look great”? Sales on fake nails, hairspray, mousse, makeup, spray tans, liposuction, Botox and more would come to a crashing halt. But maybe those empowered, confident women would speak up and voice their ideas without apologizing for it.

The irony? Ads for products targeted to women perpetuate the very lack of confidence that the new Pantene commercial tells us to fight. As we drive profits for companies like Proctor and Gamble, which makes Pantene, the shame and self-loathing we feel for our bodies is toxic to every part of our lives.

Try going on an advertising diet: Go cold turkey off of fashion magazines, chuck out your TV, and install an ad blocker on your Internet browser. Then gauge how you feel about yourself after some time passes. Connect with ways to feel feminine and sexy that don’t imply inherent personal flaws. I find that flirting always does the trick for me.

As for Pantene and its #ShineStrong ads, the company could do a lot more to further women’s empowerment if it refused to advertise in any magazine or outlet that perpetuated the cultural norms that tell women being feminine means being inherently flawed.

Women don’t need to apologize for existing, but they also don’t need to buy a specific brand of shampoo to become empowered.