San Diego Free Press

Grassroots News & Progressive Views

Local Democrats Have a Woman Problem

by

I am afraid. And I am not the only one.

By Anonymous Is a Woman

A handful of Democratic women saw each other at the ADEM elections for the first time since the holidays. For some, it’s the first time they had come out for an event since the election. For others, this was their third event that weekend.

After a few minutes of small talk and “Holy-crap-the-world-is-ending” Trump commentary, the conversation becomes a bit more hushed when one of the women asked, “So what do you think about this Mickey Kasparian situation?”

Voices automatically lower.

Some gossip passes back and forth, but the theme to the conversation seems to be less about Mickey and more about the fact that we don’t feel like we can talk about this without repercussion.

I’ve had this same conversation with other women in Democratic circles for the last few months. Many of us are worried about an emerging pattern, and none of us feel safe to talk about it.

Since Filner, local rhetoric around supporting women in politics has been on the rise. But in practice, many of us still see the decisions being made by the central committee, executive board, elected officials, and other leaders within our ranks and wonder if those people slept through the whole debacle.

In the 2016 election cycle, three democratic candidates for office were accused of some kind of abuse toward women.

Supervisor Dave Roberts had multiple female staffers quit and accuse him of creating a hostile work environment. The San Diego Democratic Party still endorsed him for another term in elected office.

Rafael Castellanos, who had a lawsuit filed against him in 2010 alleging sexual assault, was thought to be the front-runner in the race for San Diego City Attorney, and was the top vote getter in the central committee primary election endorsement for that race. (Ultimately the Party did not endorse in that race until the general election endorsement of Mara Elliott.)

In September, headlines informed us Col. Doug Applegate, arguably our best chance to unseat Darrell Issa in years, had been accused of abusing and stalking his wife. She was awarded two restraining orders and he was court mandated to give up his firearms. Local Democratic support held strong and the national party continued to pour in money.

All of these men ultimately lost their bids for office. But what if they hadn’t? And what if we subjected hundreds of female staffers, community members, and volunteers to abusive behavior? The way we did with Bob Filner.

On election night women all over the country watched in horror as a man who openly bragged about sexual assault and treating women “like shit” won the White House, and made many of the things we fear the most socially acceptable. We held Republicans responsible.

I thought to myself, “This is why I am a Democrat.”

And then right after Christmas the news about Mickey broke. The whisper campaign on Sandy started immediately. Then there was another lawsuit. And another. And whisper campaigns have grown to include not only the women in the lawsuits, but the women who have the nerve to ask for justice on their behalf.

The silence from labor and party leadership, elected officials, progressive allies, and women’s organizations is deafening.

How is it that you claim to be the party that supports women but you cannot cleanse these men from your own ranks? Why do so many women I know who are so passionate about so many issues not feel like it is safe to speak on this one? And, even more simply, can’t we find better candidates and leaders?

I am a frequent campaign volunteer. Although I am not wealthy by any means, I have donated multiple times to local candidates. I attend club meetings and rallies and fundraisers. I have been fighting along side you for a long time.

And I am afraid.

I’m afraid to share this opinion publically. I’m afraid the party will do nothing about it. I’m afraid that some candidate in 2018 or 2020 might be the next Filner, and that San Diego democrats will actively support him, even knowing the risk.

For my own part, I cannot control the central committee or other party leaders. However, I can control myself.

From this point on, I will not volunteer for any male Democratic candidates until the party can show progress toward solving this issue. I will not knock doors, or donate time or money, or take a yard sign. No matter how long I have known you, or how much I like you. Incumbent or first timer. I will no longer pick up the phone.

Also, I will not attend any more labor rallies or pickets until the San Diego and Imperial Counties Labor Council removes Kasparian from his position.

I’m sorry to all the lovely, innocent, feminist men that will lose resources because of this move. But until candidates are more selectively supported, and leadership stands up for women in our movement, I will pretend I cannot tell the difference. Just like they do.

Inspired by #DayWithoutAWoman, I am calling this personal boycott #CampaignWithoutAWoman.

I wish I could say this in public. But I have been effectively silenced by an environment that accepts inhumane behavior if it means a possible political win, and punishes principled questions if the answers may lead to political damage.

I am afraid. And I am not the only one. And regardless of the guilt or innocence of Mickey Kasparian or anyone else, the fear women are feeling is the real heart of the issue. And until that is addressed, many local democratic candidates will be campaigning with at least one less supporter.

At Large

At Large

Comments

  1. This misses the point. There have been men who have mistreated women, and women who have mistreated women while men stood up for them. I get your sentiment, but it’s a solution that doesn’t fit the problem. Many times, it’s been the women staff / elected / party leadership who are harshest to the women electeds. Perhaps, we should just elect folks who are not abusive .

  2. We have to work together to defeat a system of governance that elevates white men to public office as if they are genetically superior to women. This bias has reached its zenith with the election of the POTUS who now occupies the White House. No prior example of that bias can quite verify the existence of the White Man’s Club. Please, Anonymous, realize that by refusing to vote for another man for public office who disregards and underestimate the talent of women — and the children of slaves, and hardworking Mexican-Americans, and any other class identifiable as not white and male — you are eliminating these classes of people from your registry of eligible public servants. You’re making me your enemy, and I’m not.

    • Sometimes I, too, am afraid of speaking up. But to be honest, the pernicious potential of political statements from anonymous sources – male or female – scare me more than the personal risk of criticism or backlash.

      Over the years I’ve published many essays about San Diego politics. My latest one happens to be about Mickey Kasparian. You can find it under my name at NumbersRunner.blogspot.com

    • What is your last point about? She’s not making anyone her enemy except Kasparian, who needs to step down under these allegations. I support this anonymous author, and I think that organizations needs to rise up and out the sicko! No more party politics or bullshit, when someone does what Kasparian did, they have to go no matter what. This community is good enough to replace him with the right organizing.

      • That “last point” I tried to make was aimed at the categorical statement by Anonymous that she “will not volunteer for any male Democratic candidates until the party can show progress toward solving this issue” of local Democrat’s indifference to abuse of women in the workplace. That’s an enormous category of people she won’t work to elect, too big and general to do justice through her work. It would exclude me if I were to run for office simply because I’m a man (who happens to believe women ted to be tougher and smarter than men). I could wish I’d said it more clearly.

  3. Bravo for this. It echoes what I’ve been saying for years.
    One woman killed in America every five hours.
    In 2015, a total of 1,631 women were murdered.

    I have personal experience of taking one solution – how to end via technology, to END restraining order violations to two police chiefs, the City Council, the County, the head of Probation, Toni Atkins, Marty Block, Dave Roberts, and Todd Gloria. Crickets.

    Until the safety of women is on the platform, no one is getting dime one, from me.

  4. Looking ahead, I invite people to contact their elected officials and other organizations throughout San Diego county, and ask them to sponsor events to educate people about misconceptions and myths related to sexual harassment and sexual assault.

    April is an important month to have them focus on these efforts.

    From: https://www.dvsac.org/denim-day/: “April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and Denim Day is a call to action for all people to come together by wearing denim as a visible sign of protest against sexual violence. By participating in Denim Day this April, you can play a role in the prevention of sexual violence. Every year we ask community members, elected officials, businesses and students to make a social statement with their fashion and on April 27th to wear jeans as a visible means of protest against misconceptions that surround sexual assault.”

    State legislators have recognized “Denim Day” for many years. For 2017, I have started contacting members of local elected bodies, asking them to sponsor “Denim Day” resolutions in San Diego, as part of their April agenda items.

    For more info see: http://denimdayinfo.org/

    Here is information from 2016, regarding activities in Sacramento:

    “Denim Day is a symbol of protest against erroneous attitudes about sexual assault. For the past 17 years, the event has been held in April, in honor of Sexual Violence Awareness Month. This year, supporters and legislators met on the south steps of the California State Capitol to rally for increased awareness and education concerning sexual assaults. Supporters wore denim in honor of a rape victim in Italy whose attacker was freed because the Italian Supreme Court ruled since she wore tight jeans when she was attacked, she must have helped her rapist remove the jeans, thereby implying consent.”

  5. San Diego Free Press should not publish articles anonymously. We should not assume accusation is fact. That is why we have fact finding courts and due process. I am embarrassed and frightened by the author’s lack of respect for or knowledge of the dangers of mob justice. The idea that men who are accused of wrongdoing (eg being rude to a woman) need to be “cleansed” shares more than rhetoric similarity with the idea that people of certain ethnicity need to be “cleansed”. I am not defending MK nor attacking his accusers. I do not have enough information to make a judgement about MK’s guilt or innocence of sexual harassment. None of us not directly involved do. That is why we have a thing called due process. The author, who claims to be a Democratic Woman, in a few short paragraphs calls for “cleansing” of men on the assumption of guilt, opprobrium for those who want to learn the actual facts, and withdrawal from participation by women in the Democratic process until adequate cleansing is performed. In tone and tenor, with a few changes in the object of scorn, this article could have been written by a Breitbart contributor. Maybe it was. That is a problem with anonymous postings.

    • The problem within the local Democratic Party and labor is that if you put your name on something related to this issue you get attacked. Nohelia Ramos from ACCE on Saturday filed an employment complaint against ACCE accusing them of retaliating against her for publicly supporting MK’s accusers. Her husband Hector was fired from SEIU 221 for the same thing. Others within the party have been attacked by party leaders for signing the letter.

      I believed Filner’s accusers. I believe these three, now four, women. Which is why I’m leading the community effort on their behalf.

      Some can pretend all they want that due process will play itself out accordingly. But those of us that know these women, those of us that know the truth about MK, won’t sit idle and let it continue to happen.

      • Since this article was published Kasparian fired Anabel Arauz. One of his reasons was for creating a hostile work environment! The retaliation is real.

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