By Jeeni Criscenzo

A Chicken Carol

It was the week before Christmas
and all through the house
there wasn’t a sound
‘cept for that damn mouse.

Then out in the garden
there arose such a clatter,
I shuffled out in my bathrobe
to see what was the matter!

And what to my dismay
did I see in the lettuce bed,
but all of our salad greens
dug up and dead.

I put on my thinking cap
to determine who was it,
who could fit in that small gap,
to both enter and exit.

I considered a raccoon
but there wasn’t enough room,
a bunny can’t climb up
a snake wouldn’t dig up.

The thought of a coyote
eating lettuce is just silly,
and I haven’t seen ground squirrels
since the weather got chilly,

A rat could have done it,
but the perp left a poop!
Nope, it wasn’t a rat
I now knew the scoop!

With evidence so obvious
a chicken would have to confess to this,
for scratching and digging up
my ruined bed of dead lettuce.

I gathered the suspects,
and when they were all lined up,
I assured them I’d be lenient
if the guilty chick ‘fessed up.

Now, Lucy and Ethel, I know you’re too big.
India and Bebe can’t fly worth a fig.
Chicana could do it, but somehow I knew
The most likely suspect
was little Cashew.

Then what to my wondering ears should I hear
a miniature cluck-clucking in words barely clear.
“I was just helping with weeding
and eating bugs, snails and such as.
I never meant to cause
such a big Christmas ruckus.”

So I gave little Cashew
a pardon for Christmas.
Grumbling and mumbling
‘bout planting more lettuce.

Then I heard Cashew mutter,
as she marched back to her coop,
“Thanks, I’ll lay you an Easter egg,
and next time,
I’ll be sure not to poop!”

Editor Note:  This article was originally published on December 24, 2017

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Jeeni Criscenzo

Jeeni Criscenzo founded Amikas, a non-profit that works to house homeless women and children, particularly veteran women. She was one of the founders of Women Occupy San Diego and remains active in supporting many liberal causes, locally and nationally. In 2006 she was the Democratic candidate for the 49th Congressional District, running against Darrell Issa. In 2016 she was named Women's History Month Local Hero by the Women's Museum of California. She is an avid gardener, relentless feminist, performance poet, proud grandmother and now, this…

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