By Robert Smith
In my book “Natural Born Leader-A Tribute to the American Political System,” my character The Ronald plans to select the Honorable Reverend Jim Bob Bunker, President of the University of Enlightened Angels and leader of the conservative Christian Coalition of Saved Souls, to serve as his Secretary of Education. The Ronald promises conservative Christians a score of educational reforms, including:
- No more sex education-all teenagers need to know is abstinence. Once they’re married, they can figure it out on their wedding night.
- No more evolution-dinosaur bones are fakes, produced and buried in remote locations by Democrats, Communists and Atheists.
- No more conventional history-they’ll still teach ancient history and modern history, but we might know it better as the Old Testament and the New Testament.
I thought I’d delivered enough fictional nuttiness through The Ronald, but I fell short in predicting The Donald’s actual nuttiness. I failed you and I promise to do better in the sequel (i.e. way more nutty).
The Donald’s real Secretary of Education, Elisabeth DeVos, doesn’t even have the educational credentials of my fictional character Reverend Bunker. She does seem to possess his wide-eyed — is it the Holy Ghost or another manic episode? — religious fervor. I’ll state for the record that I’m an old, white, male protestant in good standing (I’m Lutheran, and not the fun kind — my Synod has a state’s name in it). I’m also a product of the public school system from 1st grade to my B.S. (B.S. represents my degree, my initials and my personality) and I feel that system served me well. [Read more…]