San Diego Free Press

Grassroots News & Progressive Views

Group Declares War On Spain – Maybe – and Announces SuperPac and Bakesales

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The May Greys were out in full force Tuesday morning as a fledgling new group calling itself “Fight4America” trotted out a media event down at “Tuna Park” in downtown San Diego. With the USS Midway looming in the background, organizers unveiled three 30 second television spots that will air in key markets when and if enough money is raised.

They also promised to spend money on behalf of candidates and lobby for policies that support their mission of turning America’s military into the fine fighting force like it was back in the Spanish American War.

Clearly upset with the Pentagon’s plans to reshape the US military into a Twenty-first Century fighting force, former Republican Rep. Duncan Hunter called for a “new naval armada, one like we had when we invaded Cuba”. Hunter’s speech to the two dozen spectators, four journalists, KUSI-TV crew and three dozen seagulls included a call for a declaration of war on Spain—“Remember the Maine”—and reversal of President Harry Truman’s order desegregating the Armed Forces.

Pressed for specifics on their fund raising strategies, GOP campaign strategist Ed Rollins, whose last known position was running Rep. Michelle Bachman’s campaign, suggested that staging their press event in San Diego was part of a larger strategy, that involved targeting reclusive but wealthy donors known to be preparing for Armageddon in nearby deserts.

“San Diego has a proud history of attracting theses real American patriots, even if the liberal media doesn’t know their names”, said Rollins, who refused to go into more detail, citing National security concerns and a desire to punch Mitt Romney in the mouth.

Defense activist Bymor Gunns promised that the group would start on a national campaign of bake sales, designed to build grassroots support. “We’ve put together this kit that you can get from our website that shows you how to buy day old cookies from bakeries and spruce them up with misted water just like new,” said Gunns.

Asked after the event if he thought there would be Congressional support for an invasion of Spain, Rep. Hunter said, “Did I say Spain? I meant Iran; I’m always getting the two of them confused.”

Doug Porter

Doug Porter

Doug Porter was active in the early days of the alternative press in San Diego, contributing to the OB Liberator, the print version of the OB Rag, the San Diego Door, and the San Diego Street Journal. He went on to have a 35-year career in the Hospitality business and decided to go back into raising hell when he retired. He won numerous awards for his columns from the Society of Professional Journalists in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2017. Doug is a cancer survivor (sans vocal chords) and lives in North Park.

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