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San Diego Free Press

Grassroots News & Progressive Views

Post-Election Thoughts … What if the Blue States seceded from the Red States?

November 16, 2012 by Jack Hamlin

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The election is over and the dust really has finally settled. By the way my candidate lost, but it isn’t easy being Green. The 47% and then some spoke up and now, maybe, just maybe, WE can get to work and do the good things we do well, fix the good things we use to do well, and set aside the bad stuff which has been gnawing at our insides for so long.

WE proved the Koch Brothers, et al. could not buy an election, and Karl Rove is as superfluous as a dead rat on the floor just waiting to be swept up and thrown out with the garbage. WE, with the help of Donald Trump and Ted Nugent, proved that just because you have money and a forum, does not preclude you from being as crazy as a three-dicked goat. WE proved that even FOX News has to concede something to the other side every once and while.

WE also proved that despite our differences politically, when it really matters, WE come together and help each other and acknowledge the help, thanks to President Obama and Governor Christie.

But back to the 47%. I have really been struck for some time by the comments by Romney about givers and takers in the U.S. I am apparently part of the 53%, but at some point in the next few years I will become a taker, when I reach social security age and collect my entitlement (when did that become such a bad word?). My father, who served in WWII and Korea, had his own business and employed a number of people and now at 87 volunteers several hours a week at the airport, is a taker. If it were not for the VA Hospital, he and my mom would have sold their home years ago to take care of his health-care needs. And although my father earned his entitlement, he is by definition of some, a taker…or is he?

So I did some looking into who are the givers and takers in the U.S. The first variable was the amount a state pays in taxes v. the amount a state receives in federal subsidization. In other words, does a state give more in taxes than it receives back or does it take back more than it pays in taxes? With me so far? And since someone has skillfully divided us into Red and Blue states I used that as one of my variables.

Here is how it shakes out.

Of the sixteen states which pay out more than they receive (givers), all but one, Texas, is blue. The other giver states include New Hampshire, Maryland, New Jersey, Delaware, New York, Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, Colorado, California, Connecticut, Nevada, Oregon and Washington. Of the remaining 34 states, only Ohio breaks even. The rest, 33 states, pay fewer taxes than they receive in subsidization (takers) and, all except six, are red. In other words, the liberal and progressive blue states give more and take less than the conservative and reactionary red states.

Now these statistics are easily verifiable. I found a number of articles on the web which supported this. What I did not count on was the e-mail I received as I was writing this. It is included in its entirety below with some other statistics for consideration.

But the point I want you to come away with here is not whether or not blue state people are better than red state people, or that blue state people have earned the right to thumb our collective noses at the red state people. What I want you to come away with is it is high time WE the People stop letting a handful of very self-serving divisive people create schisms between US. There will be times when anyone of US is going to need a hand, and at any given time, anyone of US will be in a position to give that needed hand. WE are all in this country together, and WE need to work together and quit playing with crazy separatist agendas. Only then will WE be the great nation WE purport to be.

But for those of you who wish to continue this split between Reds and Blues, Givers and Takers, I offer the following the letter sent to me by a friend:

 A Revolution Without Gunfire

 Dear Red States:

We’re ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we’ve decided we’re leaving.

We in California intend to form our own country and we’re taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren’t aware that includes New York, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe the split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Opryland.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss.

We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of the best restaurants, 95% of America’s quality wines (we’ll give you Franzia in a box to serve at state dinners), 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson, and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Sincerely,

Citizens of the Enlightened States of America

P.S. We’re taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

Article originally appeared on November 14 in the OB Rag.

  • Bio
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Jack Hamlin

Jack Hamlin

Scratchy curmudgeon with a reflective side, my students call me Lao Xu Long (Old Snow Dragon). Surfer, teacher, facilitator, recovering attorney (I’ve had all my shots), cook, canine steward and writer, I proudly maintain dual citizenship with the People’s Republic of O.B. and Planet Earth. Opening a can of worms is only the beginning of a good time and don’t change the subject to avoid doing so. Peace be with you and Namaste…
Jack Hamlin

Latest posts by Jack Hamlin (see all)

  • From Ferguson to Yemen: What If We Aren’t So Different After All? - December 3, 2014
  • Tired of Hate: A Commentary on the Treatment of Homeless in Ocean Beach - July 20, 2013
  • A Farewell to My Beloved Dog Lil Bear - May 25, 2013

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Comments

  1. KP says

    November 16, 2012 at 8:45 am

    Jack, as insightful and thoughtful as your article is I can’t reconcile that you voted Romney! Good work though, great points.

    • Jack says

      November 16, 2012 at 8:53 am

      Ay-yi-yi-No! “…it isn’t easy being Green.” I voted party line, which for me is Green!

  2. bob dorn says

    November 16, 2012 at 11:45 am

    They’d all have to check their guns at the borders, right? One pit bull allowed every two axles. Must pledge not to ask anyone their gender preferences, and to avoid advocating any such preference. Import taxes on wines and beers. For a list of politicians not allowed in consult The Norquist Pledge and ALEC memberships.

  3. thoughtfulbear says

    November 16, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    On beyond Ecotopia!

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