By Christine Schanes
Every day many of us see a homeless person holding a sign or a cup begging for money. The kind-hearted people among us often give spare change or a dollar to this homeless person. However, we may ask ourselves, “Will a dollar make a difference in the life we’ve just touched?”
Yes, a financial gift of any amount does make a difference – a number of differences, in fact. With our contribution, the homeless person will be able to accumulate enough money to purchase the basic necessities of life – food, clothing and shelter. Further, by reaching out to the homeless person, we show that we care, which uplifts his/her spirits. And our generosity expands our own feelings of compassion which science has shown positively affects our immune system.
I’m reminded of one very cool January night in downtown Los Angeles, CA, when a young homeless mother stood outside a theater with a shopping cart holding her two children, a toddler and an infant. She asked me if I could spare some change.
I reached in my pocket and handed her two dollars.
“Thank you. God bless you,” she said.
Then she reached into her own pocket, drew out a stack of bills and placed my two dollars on top.
I walked away, but thought I would like to talk further with this young woman. So, I went back and inquired if I could ask a personal question.
“Sure,” she responded.
“I was wondering about your situation. You seem to have plenty of money. Why are you and your children out in the cold at 9:30 at night?”
“Oh, you don’t understand,” she replied. She went into her pocket and showed me the crumpled stacks of single bills. “With your two dollars, I now have $28. We’ll be out here until we have $36 for a motel room.”
I had no more money to share with this young mother, so I wished her well and left with a great sadness in my heart. While I contributed to her “motel fund,” she taught me a very valuable lesson that giving money to a homeless person can absolutely help.
Because homeless shelters are generally full and their waiting lists are often closed, many homeless people, like this young mother, have to fend for themselves.
Of course, it would be great to have shelter for everyone who needs a bed for the evening, but we are far away from that goal.
We need to ask ourselves, “What are homeless people to do until we have a shelter bed for each one of them?”
Just do the math. In San Diego, for example, the Regional Task Force on the Homeless (RTFH) has published the results of the 2012 Homeless Count and determined that in that county there are 9,641 homeless people. Of this number, only 4,374 of them are sheltered. That means that 5,267 homeless people are unsheltered in San Diego County and they must find their own place to sleep each night.
I know there are those people who say if we truly want to help a homeless person we should donate our money to a public or private social service agency.
Why not? I say. We can help by donating to a public or private social service agency, as well as giving money directly to a homeless person, as indicated in the story above.
But we may wonder how much we should give to a homeless person?
One day my friend Susie called. “I have to ask you a question. I was just at the market and there was an elderly couple holding a sign that asked for money. I didn’t know what to do. I thought about it a while and then I gave them a $10 bill. Did I do alright?”
I’m smiling even today as I remember that conversation with Susie.
I asked Susie how she felt after she gave the $10 to the homeless couple.
“Great!” she exclaimed. “I never felt better.”
“That’s your answer, Susie. You did great!” I responded.
The monetary gift we give to another human being can help that person and always helps the giver!
Recently, a famous producer’s wife told me about the experience her son had with a homeless woman. She explained that one day, her son gave a homeless woman a $20 bill. The next day, her son was shocked to see the same homeless woman back in the same location begging for money.
“My son gave her $20, so why was she still there?” she asked, “But he did feel really good about helping her with that $20.”
I wanted to say, “Did your son actually expect the homeless woman to become housed because he gave her $20?”
But what I said was, “Please thank your son for helping that woman. I’m glad that he felt good about helping someone in need.”
While we will truly never know whether or not our financial gifts can help homeless people become housed, we can be sure of one thing – giving to a homeless person always makes a difference for the better for us!
Nice to read you again, Christine. Miss our conversations. Interesting perspective to the homeless situation. I do not give money to the homeless for a variety of reasons, none of which are important here. But I have taken people into restaurants and paid for a meal for them. And if they didn’t want to go inside I have gone to a fast food restaurant and picked something up from them. I guess if I thought the money was being used for food, or shelter I would be more apt to donate to them, but watching them puff on a cigarette, or having a can of beer by their side makes me hesitate. I’ll think of your article the next time I’m in OB – where the homeless reside in drove.
Hi, Judi,
I miss you, too! Thanks for reading my article. And thanks to you and all members of the San Diego Free Press for publishing it!
Thanks for helping so many people in need! If we all helped as much as you do, Judi, I don’t think there would be homeless people – we’d all be housed!
Please keep writing!
Christine
Thanks for the plaudits, Christine, but there is so much more that I should be able to do. I admire you for all you are doing.
When you visit SD, come see me.
Judi,
I look forward t seeing you! Best Wishes to you.
Christine
This is the second heartfelt account of food, homelessness, and generosity today. Thank you.
The other is from the perspective of a mom and her children upon seeing another mom feeding her children from a trash can.
“I guarantee you that a person’s story is more than what you can see in ten or twenty seconds.”
http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2013/11/an-early-thanksgiving/
In the spirit of not judging situations I’ve not experienced, I’m less inclined to think a cigarette or booze are necessarily “waste,” even when the availability of food and shelter are lacking. I just follow my heart (and availability of cash, which is tight more often than not) and treat each situation distinctly. And always look people in the eye with dignity (“I see you,” I think, “and you matter.”)
Hi, Sara,
Thanks for your comment. I enjoyed the heart-warming story at the link you provided – great! And thank you for all you do for people in need.
Please stay in touch,
Christine
The reason only half the homeless in San Diego are sheltered is that this society is just damn stingy. They’ll do something for the homeless but not too much or San Diego will be a homeless magnet attracting homeless people from everywhere. The only solution is a massive effort (at least massive by today’s standards) to deal with the homeless situation, and it’s not just about “being housed.” There’s a lot more to it than that. The homeless need jobs, psychological counseling and a lot more in order to get back on their feet. Just being sheltered is a temporary solution.
Hi, John,
Thanks for your comment. All I can say is Yes, Yes and Yes. I agree with you. Becoming homeless does not happen overnight. It is usually a slow, down-hill slide that occurs when little by little everything goes away.
The good news is that every little thing we do can help a person who doesn’t have a home. Every kindness, every courtesy, every gift keeps a person, housed or unhoused, alive.
I once heard an expression that I’ve remembered for many years and it seems to apply right now – We give each other life.
Please stay in touch.
Christine
Sometimes you need to save the world one person at a time. My homeless friend Shaun has been plying the streets of San Diego for over 7 years. He pushes his shopping cart along the same five mile circuit six days a week while collecting cans for a living. He’s friendly, outgoing and slowly deteriorating from life on the street. Here’s my tips on how to help someone like Shaun:
Buy a plastic storage bin with a lid about the size of a boot box at Target for $2.50. Fill it with a pack of band-aids, a squeeze bottle of disinfectant, some individually wrapped “wet wipes”, a pair of scissors, a pair of nail clippers, a small LED pen light, a bottle of aspirin, a small pack of tums, a twin pack of soft tooth brushes, tooth paste, a six pack of ankle socks and perhaps some disposable razors ( my friend likes to stay clean shaven – no small task on the street).
Determine the persons shoe size and buy them a good pair of walking shoes.
Provide a good Jacket.
Buy a gift card at Seven Eleven or a fast food franchise like Jack-in-the Box. At Jack’s it called “Jack Cash” and all the person has to do is order whatever he/she wants and then hand the server the card. The remaining balance will be printed on the receipt. You can even track the card at Jacks to see when it’s almost empty and re-up it on line.
These are just some suggestions that I’ve gleaned by actually sitting and chatting with a number of homeless folks. Oh, and you may want to help these folks with their project to help the homeless: http://www.edar.org/index.html
Regards, Mark…
Great ideas Mark. Thanks.
Hi, Mark,
I join with Judi thanking you for your wonderful ideas of how we can help homeless people. You show great insight and compassion. Thank you.
Please stay in touch,
Christine