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Five Stages of Republican Grief (A Tribute to the U-T’s Steve Breen)

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By Annie Lane
Last week I came across a Steve Breen cartoon in the San Diego Union-Tribune entitled “Mapping Bob Filner’s Brain” (see left). I had quite the guffaw. I mean, if guffaws were redefined to be humorless, silent events that’s what it was.

I find it interesting that, given Breen’s skill and Pulitzer Prize history, the brain he chose to draw was so boorishly simple. Don’t worry, I get it — it’s intended to represent the supposedly simple mind of our union-sympathizing, anti-hotelier mayor.

But it doesn’t matter what multi-syllabic, mildly offensive adjectives Breen uses to describe Bob Filner because, at the end of the day, he’s still the elected mayor of San Diego. You know, the guy who, like most Democrats in the 2012 election, fairly won against his Republican counterpart.   [Read more…]

The Smell of Freedom in the Air: Guns in America

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by Jerry Farber / The Daily Kos

Let’s be honest. Haven’t you just about had it with this latest round of hand-wringing about guns? I mean, look, why don’t we just concede the point right up front? Yes, if you want the kind of government that runs your life, that comes into your home and tells you how sharp your kitchen knives can be, well then, sure, I suppose life can be made a little safer. But what about freedom? Isn’t that pretty much supposed to be the name of the game in this country.

And aren’t we all just sick and tired of hearing how America should try to be more like some other country—like this country or that country? Now it’s all about gun violence. People throw these ridiculous figures at you. Supposedly, in England, the death rate from guns is forty times less than it is here. (So in those London pubs they just have to come at each other with broken bottles, right?) Oh, and Japan. Yes, let’s be just like Japan. In Japan, nobody ever dies at all (except, of course, when a nuclear plant blows up in their face). So what is this all about? What are these Japan-lovers and these England-lovers trying to sell us? What are they after? I’ll tell you what they’re after. One more freedom down the drain.   [Read more…]

Manchester Buys Baseball’s Padres, Changes Name

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After having purchased and transformed the San Diego Union Tribune into America’s greatest newspaper in the Finest City in the World’s Best Darn Country, Doug Manchester is at it again. This time he has set his sights on the nation’s pastime and is aiming to put it back on the map for good by bringing an even more super American brand of baseball to the place where happy happens.
Change of course, is not just what will be left in your pocket after the Socialist in Chief leaves the White House, it’s the order of the day at Manchester Park, home of the San Diego Robber Barons. Swap out the statue of Tony Gwyn for one of the Lord Manchester himself and toss the swinging friar down the memory hole and replace him with that plucky little Carl DeMaio who will rove the stands passing out complementary reports on the inefficiency of local government and the scourge of pubic sector unionism.   [Read more…]

Mayor Filner Joins Forces with New York City Mayor Bloomberg

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San Diego and New York City mayors take aim at sugary soft drinks

In a speech yesterday at the Balboa Park Club, Mayor Bob Filner outlined his plans for combating the consumption of large quantities of sugary, fizzy soft drinks. After mentioning all the negative effects from their consumption such as obesity and Type 2 Diabetes, Filner said, “You know we live in America’s Finest City, and we can’t have America’s biggest lard asses walking around in America’s Finest City. Something must be done. Mayor Bloomberg and I are on the same page regarding this issue. So what I’m proposing is this: today I’m declaring that the entire City of San Diego is a Sugary Soft Drink District (SSDD). This will be a counterpoise and eventually take the place of the Tourism Marketing District (TMD) which has created so much controversy lately.

“And in consideration of that tax money which the TMD wants me to turn over to the hoteliers around here, I’ve come to a decision. Instead of turning over that money, I will put it to good use funding the SSDD. These monies will kickstart this project. We will put up ads on billboards and run TV commercials pointing out the negative effects of consuming sugary soft drinks. So not only will San Diego be America’s Finest City, but under my administration San Diego will become America’s Healthiest City.”   [Read more…]

Health Department Shutting Down Taco Tuesdays Citywide

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In a bold move, it has come to my attention that the Health Department will be shutting down all restaurants in the San Diego area that cater to “Taco Tuesday” feasts. In investigating this phenomena that has taken over eating Mexican food on Tuesdays, there have been many complaints from other ethnic restaurants that their sales are lagging because they are not participants and they cannot afford to employ their staff on Tuesdays. Therefore, with only a one day notice, all “Taco Tuesday” establishments will need to close tomorrow and every Tuesday thereafter.   [Read more…]

La Jolla: Harbor Seals Vacate the Children’s Pool

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Unfortunately There’s a Much Larger Problem Now

by Steve Burns

La Jolla residents, long upset over the harbor seal rookery at the Children’s Pool, woke up last Friday wondering if nature had finally solved the “problem.” To their amazement, not a single harbor seal was to be found, neither on the beach of the Children’s Pool, nor on Seal Rock just a few yards from the shore line.

Could it be the controversy had resolved itself? Could the Children’s Pool finally be returned to its rightful owners; the people of La Jolla?   [Read more…]

Spare Us from Our Good Boys

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By Norma Damashek

You’ve already read my take on bad boys.  Now it’s time to flip the coin and ponder San Diego’s good boys. 

Lately, good boys have been coming out of the woodwork.  You can spot them a mile away by their gee-whiz grins and GQ grooming.  Their toothy, soulful smiles can break your heart.  Of course they’re super-civil and never raise their voices in public.  You wouldn’t hesitate to bring these dewy-eyed boys home to meet your momma. 

Don’t do it!  What you see is NOT what you get from these two-dimensional paper dolls… Stepford wives in drag.  Who are these people, you ask?     [Read more…]

Bad News Environmentally Elsewhere Is Good News for San Diego

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Bad news for the environment in other locales can be good news for San Diego.

Today, two offerings by the media – one on how hot and dry the City of Phoenix is getting due to climate change, and the second about the loss of Monarch butterflies in Mexico – is good news for us.

In an Op-Ed piece in the Los Angeles Times, entitled “Phoenix Too Hot Future”, we learn:

In Phoenix, the convergence of heat, drought and violent winds is creating an ever-more-worrisome situation. … [High] temperatures, however, are child’s play in Phoenix, where readings commonly exceed 100 degrees for more than 100 days a year. In 2011, the city set a record for days over 110. There were 33 of them. … It goes without saying that Phoenix’s desert setting is hot by nature, but humans have made it hotter. The city is a masonry world, with asphalt and concrete everywhere. The hard, heavy materials absorb daytime heat more efficiently than the naked land, and then give it back more slowly after the sun goes down, preventing the cool of the desert night from providing much relief.

  [Read more…]

Dying for Free

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Dying for free

In the familiar comfort of your home, with your own family,

No No No cost of doctors and hospital fees,

No strangers, no logistics, no legal-ease,

Just old age, if you please, natural as can be,

Just dying for free.

“My body is old, and you can’t fix me, so just let me be, with my old tv…

Just dying for free.”

More inside….   [Read more…]

Ritual Dishonesty – How freakin’ formulaic our encounters have become…

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By Bob Dorn

The other day, while I was cruising the pants section of one of my off-fashionable thrift shops, something within me caused me to notice one of those inevitable and pointless engagements between two putative human beings.

“Hi, howsa goin’. ” The cashier was greeting a guy about her age, unsmilingly.

“Hi, howsit goin’, he said, riffing a bit on the theme, also without affect.

Neither one of them changed their expressions and nothing more was said. It was clear they were goin’ nowhere, at least not with each other.

Now, if he’d have said, “Good,” he might have opened up their meeting for her to take another step, like, say, “Sure is a nice day out there.” But I suspect he wasn’t going to go there; how it was goin’ for him was none of her business, really. Nor did he have any real interest in hearing how it was goin’ for her, even if he did re-launch that question, “Hi, howsit goin’.” Those were two calculated dead-ends. A simple nod might have been more friendly.   [Read more…]

Getting away with murder

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New Series: What you always wanted to know…

Dear NumbersRunnner,

This question has been on my mind for a long time but it’s one I’ve been afraid to ask: How come so many San Diegans get away with murder?

Yours truly,

Timid Questioner

Dear TQ,

Murder is a serious allegation.  If you’ll settle for the lesser charge of white-collar crime (the FBI says it means “lying, cheating, and stealing…the full range of frauds committed by business and government professionals…”), you need only take a look at some of Don Bauder’s investigative stories about our hometown white-collar crooks.

But yes, when it comes to San Diego miscreants of a political persuasion these guys really DO get away with murder – both the metaphorical and bloody types.

Consider the case histories of two recently-departed politicians — ex-mayor Jerry Sanders and ex-councilmember Tony Young.    [Read more…]

New Schools CFO: SD Unified Will Afford Armed Guards, School Prayer with Pocket Change

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By Aaryn Belfer

“Poor guy, he doesn’t realize that being frank and open about our financial condition is discouraged around here. He will be taken to the wood shed.”
–Text message from San Diego Unified School District board member, Scott Barnett, predicting the fate of the new chief financial officer Stan Dobbs.

Only one weekend after “investigative journalist” Will Carless published his sycophantic Q&A with Stan “Data” Dobbs, school Superintendant Bill Kowba did damage control, issuing a relatively meek apology for Dobbs’ many erroneous statements. Data Dobbs was then quietly whisked away and fed into a wood chipper. Keeping with its pattern for sticking any warm body in the CFO position, San Diego Unified vetted and hired Dobbs’ replacement even before the blowhard’s left leg had been turned into mulch.

What follows is an exclusive interview with San Diego Unified’s newest Chief Financial Officer, Sarah Palin.   [Read more…]

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