Believe me, we’re all Donald Trump. It’s true. He’s like us. You can take that to the bank. I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t know it’s true, about you and about me.
Let me give you a for instance. [Read more…]
My Girlfriend’s a Robot, but I’m a Drone
By Bob Dorn
Hi. I’m a robot?
Are you amazed I can talk like a freshman on speed?
Don’t be. It’s all just zeroes and ones, yeses and nos, exes and minuses that can account for the way I so humanly can flick my long blonde hair over my earpiece, or, in the case of my boyfriend, yell Wahoo!!! when there’s a story about the Chargers pledging $1 million for a new stadium on the waterfront. [Read more…]
Frederick Douglass Opens Twitter Account and Trolls Trump
While Mike Pence decided to recognize Black History Month by honoring a white man, Donald Trump was busy vaguely listing the few black people he’s heard of throughout his 70-plus years of ignorant life in a zero-hearted attempt to care about anyone other than himself.
One such man was Frederick Douglass, the ex-slave turned abolitionist, author, suffragist, editor and diplomat. Here’s what Trump said:
“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice.” [Read more…]
Readers Write: No! to Minimum Wage Surcharge on Restaurant Bills
By John Loughlin
Restaurateurs make a political statement by adding a surcharge to ‘cover’ the cost of paying the poorest workers a higher wage.
The Union-Tribune article helpfully provides a list of restaurants to boycott as well as some to support.
Back in May 2016, David Cohn speaking at a CREW event “It is so easy to vote for that [minimum wage] increase, but it is going to really raise your cost of entertainment and spark a new round of inflation that we haven’t seen since the 1970s.” He was reported as predicting that the results could lead to menu prices increasing a minimum of 30% over the next few years. From Jan 1, 2017 the Cohn Restaurant Group is adding a 3% surcharge to cover ‘mandated’ cost increases. [Read more…]
Readers Write: Military Too Small?
Regarding the proposed expansion of the military–
Good thinking!
By all means we must ramp it up, for the following rational reasons, in no particular order:
The weapons manufacturers are in dire need of further enrichment,
and Congress needs the various kinds of kickbacks available in order to avoid being poverty-stricken; [Read more…]
The Politics of Trees
By Patricia Staley
I’m getting sick of stump speeches and I have a deep-rooted distrust of politicians, in general.
How many leaflets can you bear to pull out of your mailbox?
Every branch of government is at stake and it makes you feel like a sap if you don’t vote.
The grass roots movements have lost momentum. It seems like everything is supported by hedge funds and other big financial off shoots.
Anti-Bobism Will Be The Death of this Country
What’s wrong with Bob?
It’s a question I ask myself almost every day, usually after reading the news.
For the last 100 years* it’s been the third most popular name in America (if you’re including Robert), yet we’ve had no President Bobs. Not one.
We’ve had six James’s (the most popular name in the U.S.) and five Johns (the second most popular) elected president even though there’ve only been 50, 717 more Johns than Roberts born in this country over those 100 years. Bobs are solidly in third place in this country but we haven’t sent a single Bob to the White House. [Read more…]
A Fractured Fairy Tale
By Pat Staley
Once upon a time in the land of Glitz and Glam, there lived a royal family whose wealth and fame were unparalleled. King Ima Chump, aka Man-Baby, ruled over this illusion. King Chump had two distinctive physical characteristics. One was his meringue-like mane of hair that changed colors like a mood ring, and the other were his teeny-tiny hands that could barely hold a Swarovski champagne flute. But his massive ego offset his miniature paws; it was yuuuuge and amazing. [Read more…]
Swaggerin’ Donald Reaches Out to the Free Press
Donald Trump is finally reaching out to the readers of the San Diego Free Press in an attempt to cover all the bases and pick up Bernie Sanders voters. After all, they agree on many issues including fair trade rather than free trade. They both want to bring those jobs home. Here is what he had to say:
Hi true Americans. It’s the Donald here. I’m gonna make America great again. We’re going to have the strongest military and NATO is going to pay for it. That’s right. We’ve been giving them free protection for years so they can sit around in their bistros drinking lattes and eating gelato. They can whoop it up in their biergartens while we sit here paying a trillion dollars a year to protect them. From whom? From Russia? Give me a break. [Read more…]
The Bedeviled Dictionary
(Inspired by The Devil’s Dictionary, which Wikipedia says is “a satirical dictionary written by American journalist and author Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in 1906 as The Cynic’s Word Book, it features Bierce’s witty and often ironic spin on many common English words.”)
Three of the definitions here were written by Ambrose Bierce. Can you guess which ones? [Read more…]
Top 10 News Stories That Did Not Appear In 2015 (But I Really Wanted To Read)
By Susan Grigsby / Daily Kos
It is traditional at the end of the year to look back at the year’s events and rank them according to significance or popularity. In my youth, I used to enjoy the news reports that focused on the biggest stories of the year, mostly because I was too busy living to pay much attention to them while they were happening.
Now the years pass so quickly that I find year end round-ups to be a bit of a bore. It feels like January was last month. So instead of dwelling on the news stories that did happen and that everyone else will be covering, I decided to recount the top ten stories that were NOT written (because they did not happen) but that should have been written, and in the utopia of my imagination, DID occur. Here they are, in no particular order: [Read more…]
New Laws from the Republicans’ Alternate Dimension: Obama Forbidden to Mention Climate Change
In addition to repealing Obamacare for the 457th time, Congress has been busy with a new agenda. HR 4031 will officially make it illegal for President Obama to attend any more climate change conferences. In fact, he won’t even be allowed to mention climate change in his upcoming State of the Union (SOTU) speech.
As part of the Fossil Fuel Enhancement Act of 2015, Governor Jerry Brown of California will be forced to abandon his plan to decrease greenhouse gas emissions. Instead, he has been ordered to increase greenhouse gas emissions and to give subsidies to automobile manufacturers as long as they don’t convert to electric engines.
As part of the Act, subsidies have been increased to ExxonMobil by $5 billion to further encourage them in the fine work they’re doing promoting and selling fossil fuels. [Read more…]
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